Today I had one of those moments that years ago crossed my mind. It's one that you think, "When he is this age and does this."
It was a crazy feeling. Twelve years ago when Jake had craniofacial surgery we took into consideration that his head was growing oblong and not round and he may never be able to wear a football helmet if we didn't choose surgery.
After his surgery the shape of his head was no longer an issue but my "what if's" became more of a quiet motherly "caution" - don't go so high on that tree, you might fall and hit your head. Don't wrestle like that - you might...ugh.
Today it was a thought that came from years before..."if he ever plays football." Jake has never had much of an interest in competitive sports but loves to get together with friends and play basketball...and today it was football. And THIS Momma refrained from allowing the screaming cautions in my heart from coming out before he left.
Wow. It was hard.
Today came and went. Jake played football. He and his friend joked in the car on the way home about when his friend tackled him and smashed Jake's head into the ground. All the while neither one knew the flutter in my heart at those words.
But as I ran the thought through my mind from years before I realized my fear changed to gratefulness. I'm pretty sure Jake's head is harder and thicker where the bone has filled in through the years. I'm pretty sure today was a lot easier than I imagined all those years ago.
And I'm grateful he can play football. I'm just grateful. Period.